My Brother's Best Friend (Is Not My Boyfriend, Jeez!)
by DashFnanz
Summary: Ginny loves her family, really, but sometimes she just wants to strangle them one by one. Alternately, the story of how Harry came out to his surrogate family.


**Challenge: Assorted Appreciation (Disenchantment)**

**Prompt #24:Dialogue - "I've got something real for you to freak out about."**

**Challenge: Trope of the Month ( Not-Straight November)**

**Prompt #3: Sexuality: Gay**

**Prompt #20: Dialogue - "I'm about as straight as my hair." / "You have curly hair." / "Uh huh."**

**Challenge: Showtime (Mean Girls: The Musical)**

**Prompt #10: Revenge Party - (relationship) Friends**

**Challenge: Sophie's Shelf (Spotify on Repeat)**

**Prompt #3: Dialogue - "Your girlfriend/boyfriend sucks."**

**Prompt #15: Dialogue - "You're always complaining."**

**Prompt #17: Dialogue - "Do I look lonely?"**

**Challenge: Film Festival (John Q)**

**Prompt #7: family (Weasleys**

**Challenge: Marvel Appreciation**

**Prompt #15: Ned - Write about learning a secret.**

**Word count: 3427 words.**

**Warnings: mild language, heavily implied slash (obviously), implied Harry/Draco**

**Hey guys, I'm back. Exams kicked my ass, but I survived! Thanks for being patient.**

**J.K Rowling is a goddess and I can never compare. So, she keeps the characters, the places and her own created world, while I borrow them all every now and then like the pathetic human I am. The plot is all mine though!**

**P.S.: I am relatively new to writing fanfiction and am still getting a feel for this. So please do review and give me your opinions on my writing. I need all the constructive criticism I can get! However, I am still getting into the whole writing scene, so please, don't flame me! I write for my own pleasure and also because I know the pleasure one gets while reading someone else's stories, not for money or commissions or anything else. So, if you don't like the themes for my stories, please hit the back button and move out before getting traumatised by my writing. I will post warnings accordingly.**

Ginny is so done.

She loves her family, really, but sometimes she just wants to strangle them one by one. How can be so annoying, no - aggravating, without even trying?

Everyone has limits, and she has never been known for her endless patience anyway. She has _so _reached her breaking point. In fact, as far as her endurace goes, she's passed hers, done a one-eighty, and crossed it all over again. Her tolerance has been tried and tested - with miserable failure.

Honestly, has her nosey, interfering family got nothing better to do? First of all, she's not undateable, okay? If she wants a boyfriend, she can damn well get one herself. She doesn't need to be set up, over and over, and definitely not by her _mother_. That's embarrassing on so many levels.

Secondly, she can make up her own damn mind on who she wants to date. She doesn't need them to pair her up with the _same guy_, every single time, hoping that she'll realize some extremely suppressed feelings for him. _It's not bloody happening people, get over it!_

Because, keeping aside the fact that she _never_ wants to think of them kissing, or doing anything remotely romantic together, there's also the fact that they just won't work.. Not in this universe anyway. Hell, nothing would even initiate between them, ever, since _he _doesn't see her that way. Which is fine with her, because she considers _him _more like a brother than a dating possibility. This is why she never wants to think of _him _romantically!

But do they understand this? No!

Her eldest brothers aren't that bad, honestly. They haven't nagged at her to search for that special someone. Plus, she's pretty sure that they don't even want to think of their baby sister in the context of dating. The mental images must be horrifying to them. But hey, it works out for her right?

At the very least, it ensures a lesser body count for when she finally loses it.

Because Ron and George, oh Merlin please no. They just won't shut up! And if she has to go through another of their 'inspired' attempts to set her up with _him, _she's going to scream. Or kill someone. Maybe both.

Of all of them though, Mum is by far the worst. And Dad doesn't even try to stop her! Mum never gets it, no matter how many times she tries to tell her that she is _never _going to go out with _him. _She's not hiding her affection, there are no 'repressed feelings', and she is definitely _not _playing hard to get, thank you so much Mom!

It all started after the war ended. Fred's death really did a number on everyone in the Weasley family, but it hit George the worst. They were all worried about him, but it was surprisingly Harry who took charge and helped George to get over the loss of his twin. Harry and George were spotted together quite a bit nowadays, and more often than not, George could be seen smiling.

It was a real relief to the Weasleys to see George happy again, and it brought Harry even more into the family. Harry is every Weasley's favourite now, and Ginny's pretty sure that her mother, Molly Weasley loves him more than her own kids. Well, Mum was always fond of 'that poor boy', but now she positively dotes on him.

Not that anyone seems to be complaining, judging by all the clumsy, ridiculous and totally not subtle attempts by her stupid family to welcome Harry Potter to the Weasley brood.

_As her boyfriend_.

You can guess where this is going, right?

This brings her to where she is right now, sitting next to Harry at the massive picnic table in the backyard of the Burrow. This table is reserved only for special occasions like birthdays, and brought out into the Weasley garden for such celebrations on account of the cramped space in the kitchen.

It's Harry's birthday today, his eighteenth one to be precise, and since 18 is such a big milestone in the muggle world, Mum wanted it to be extra special for him. Mum was adamant about it being a family gathering only, to give Harry the feeling of inclusion. Which is why Hermione is the only other non-Weasley at the Burrow today, being considered another honorary Weasley by the family. Her mother went on a cooking spree since 8 o'clock in the morning, the results of which were spread out on the table, the sheer weight of it causing the table to groan heavily. Mum always cooks enough to feed a small army - to satiate their enormous appetites - but this time she has outdone herself.

The boys, Ginny and Hermione were out in the fields all morning, playing a couple of games of friendly quidditch. The games were fun, since all the Weasley kids were playing. The presence of Charlie was a welcome surprise since no one expected him to be granted leave from the dragon preserve. He had Portkeyed in from Romania just the night before and was eager to take part in the game.

The toll of long-distance Portkeying had seemingly no effect on Ginny's energetic brother, who was looking forward to reprising his role as a Seeker. Harry of course, was the other Seeker. George and Ginny teamed up with Harry, while Bill and Percy was on Charlie's side. Ron played the role of Keeper for both teams. Hermione refereed, since she didn't want to play. Harry caught the Snitch every single time, though not without substantial resistance for Charlie.

"I guess you're just a has-been now, Charlie," commented Ron when Molly called them in. "Well, you were good while you lasted!"

The kids trooped in for a snack, only to be roped into setting the table. Groaning and whining, they went about their work around the place. Molly wanted the place to look fresh and beautiful, which is why the boys were also commanded to tidy the garden and spruce it up a bit. The oldest three of the group strung up the decorations and streamers while the younger ones helped them. The two girls were busy arranging small, freshly collected bouquets in beautiful little vases, and helping Molly in the kitchen.

Thus, it was a brood of tired, starving youth who flopped down at the table, more than ready to dig in. The smells of roast chicken, mashed potatoes, fresh bread and gravy were particularly enticing to them, and drew moans from quite a few. Ron's mouth was already watering.

They gobbled down their first servings quickly, till Molly reprimanded them lightly over their table manners. Talking and laughing, they enjoyed their lunch the way a true family does.

_Of course it couldn't last forever._

Ginny had just scooped up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and was about to take a bite when Molly's voice cut the air over the sounds of satisfaction coming from different directions.

"Enjoying the food, Harry dear?"

"Oh yes, thank you Mrs. Weasley, it's delicious."

"Oh, call me Molly, dear. I'm glad you like it." Mum replied. "Have you had fun on your birthday so far, Harry?"

"Definitely, um, Molly. It was brilliant, and I appreciate all you have done for me today. You really didn't have to, but thank you."

"Nonsense, dear, it was nothing. After all, you _are _family. You don't have to thank me for doing what family does for each other!"

_Oh no, here it comes._

"You know, dear, I'm sure that we'll be having a lot more of this once you and Ginny 'officially' get together."

"Mum!"

"Um, Mrs. Weasley, I don't … we, uh, don't like each other like that."

"Oh, pish posh, I know what you young people are like! You like the secrecy and mystery of your relationship, don't you? Feel like you two have something just for yourselves, or something like that. Well, you can keep your secret for as long as you like, but just know that when you're ready to tell us, we're all here for you!"

On Harry's other side, George snickered.

Harry just stared.

"Mum, we're not hiding anything! We are _genuinely _not in a relationship!" Ginny screeched.

"Right, right, still a secret. Sorry, dear!"

"Mrs. Weasley, there really isn't...:"

"Call me Molly, dear. Just make sure, you two, that you decide to tell us about it quickly. You know, wedding preparations take a lot of time and planning and if you two agree to have it at the Burrow, the house will have to be done up some. The walls will have to be repainted at the very least, and Arthur has to clear his muggle junk from the shed, which, in case you didn't notice, Arthur, is taking up so much space that_ the door won't even close anymore!_"

"Molly, how can you call that junk? It's fine muggle machinery, and let me tell you…"

"Mum, we are _not _getting married!"

"Mrs. Weasley, Ginny and I don't see each other that way!"

"Why would Harry have to propose so soon? Ginny's too young to get married!" That one was Ron.

Hermione glared at her boyfriend. "What?" He questioned. She just shook her head at him and gave Harry an apologetic glance before looking at him shrewdly.

Mrs. Weasley ignoring everyone else's exclamations, turned to Ron and said, "Dear, with the exception of Bill, Ginny and Harry are the only ones in a position to give me grandchildren! With the war behind us, we don't have anything to worry about - and there's nothing to stop me from wanting grandkids! I miss having you little terrors underfoot all the time."

Ron turned back to Harry's stricken face and, oblivious to his obvious panic, excitedly said, "Harry, mate, will you make me the godfather? I'd be a great one, I promise!"

George observed, "No one in their right mind would put you in charge of kids, little bro - you'd turn them all into sugar monsters!"

And Bill, appearing to consider this in all seriousness, commented, "George's right, kiddo. You'd be too soft on them - any kid would be able to pull one over you!"

All through this, Ginny (and Harry) just sat back in shock, trying to digest this information. They looked at each other, identical expressions of terror and nausea on their faces.

_Okay, this ends now._

"MUM! No, just - just no! Ugh!"

"Mrs. Weasley, we're not having kids together - we're not doing anything together!"

"EVER!"

"I don't even _like _Ginny that way!"

Mutterings of confusion could be heard all around the table.

Ron cried disappointedly, "Why not? Mate, you two would be perfect together! Why don't you like Ginny?" His face turned suspicious, with hints of anger. "Wait - why don't you like Ginny? Do you have something against my sister, Potter?"

"RON!"

"But Mione, don't you see? Something's wrong with this whole... everything."

Ginny muttered to the boy beside her, "Harry, if you don't say anything, I will. This has gone too far."

But Harry was already standing up from the table, red-faced and looking like he's finally had enough.

"What's _wrong_, Ron Weasley, is that I don't even like girls!"

Utter silence.

Harry already looked like he was regretting it.

But Ginny just blew a breath in relief and mumbled, "Finally!"

Ginny's soft exclamation seemed to spur Ron's brain-to-mouth functioning into action. "Wha-what - but Cho - and sixth year - the common room - wait, what?"

_Okay, so maybe his speech facilities need a little tune-up._

Ron jumped up from his seat, rushed over to Harry and Ginny and pulled them away from the table, amidst sputters of indignation from both of them. Hermione, looking like a satisfied cat, muttered a quick 'will you excuse us' to the still silent red-heads and went to catch up with them. George followed.

When Ron deemed them a good enough distance away from prying ears, he turned to face his sister and best friend, when he caught sight of George.

"What are you doing here, George? Get lost, we're having an important conversation."

"Don't get your knickers in a twist little bro, I'm just here to watch the drama."

They rolled their eyes.

"Ugh, you are so _annoying_!"

"Would you stop it and focus on the topic here?" Hermione got them back on track.

"Right, the point - Harry, what did you mean back there? You're straight, aren't you? As in you like girls?"

Harry looked slightly exasperated, but Ron did not notice.

"Yes, Ron, I'm straight," Harry said with amazingly little sarcasm. "I'm about as straight as my hair."

Ron looked relieved for all of one second before the message started to sink in.

"Um, Harry," started Ron cautiously, "You have curly hair."

"Uh huh," was all he got in reply.

Hermione took one look at Harry's innocuous expression and her boyfriend's gobsmacked one before bursting into peals of laughter.

Ron looked offended. "Hey, don't laugh, Mione! It's not funny! Not all of us can be as unfazed as you! In fact, I bet that you already knew about him!"

Hermoine got herself under control and answered him, "Well yes, Ron, of course! I mean, not really, because my assumptions were not confirmed until now. But yes, I had an inkling. It was inevitable, Ron, I mean, there were so many signs, that if you put them together, you too would have arrived at the obvious conclusion."

"Of course you knew, Mione. Can't keep anything from you, can we?" Harry sighed fondly.

Suddenly Ron's expression changed. He looked like he was struck with a light bulb moment. And the conclusion was not pretty.

"Harry," The redhead said with a slightly nauseated look on his face. "Mate, you're not like, into me or something, right? Because, I love you man, but you're not…" 

"Ron, stop, please!" Harry looked green at the very thought. "No, just- no, Ron, I don't like you like that, okay! Ugh, what is it with you Weasleys and your horrible pairing choices!"

Ron sighed in relief. "Okay good…that's good."

By now, George and Ginny were howling in mirth. Hermione just face-palmed.

George, calming down, muttered to himself, "I've got something real for you to freak out about." George grinned and said to Ron with mischief in his eyes, "Bro, if you're really interested in his love life, you should ask him about his _boyfriend." _

Ginny's impish expression matched her brother's.

Again, Ron didn't notice a thing. Totally blind to the danger signs, he reiterated George's question, eager to get rid of the mental image he himself created.

"You have a boyfriend, Harry? Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry instantly turned beet red. "He's not my boyfriend!"

Hermione looked interested now.

"And he'll never be your boyfriend if you don't show him that you're interested!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Oh, a crush! Who is it? Do we know him? Is he a Lion like us? Does he like you too? Oh, is it Neville?" Ron breathed out in a rush.

"Wait, what? No, it's not Neville! Really?"

Ginny stared at him in disbelief. "How are you so bad at guessing? Are you sure you're related to me?"

Ron ignored her. "Well, then, if it's not Neville, then who is he? Is he anything like you?"

George scoffed.

Ginny cut in before Harry could answer. "No, Ron," she said, "He's nothing like our Harry. Our boy here," she slapped him on the back, "loves the idea of unpredictability. His man is hot, like _really hot_, and the two of them together? Instant sparks. They're all about the love-hate, you know, Ron? Heat and spice, fights in the rain - dripping wet and going at each other, like mmm, wow…"

"Okay, okay," George hastily stopped her. "We don't need to hear that from our baby sister!"

If anything, Harry looked like he was praying for the ground to swallow him up whole.

Surprisingly though, Hermione just looked more fascinated.

"Alright, fine!" Ginny chuckled. "What I'm trying to say, Ron, is that Harry's mystery crush is like his complete opposite. But it works, you know? He's blond to Harry's brunette, composed to his feistiness ("don't you mean icy," muttered George), tall to his short," this earned her a glare from Harry, "fine, but it's true! He's all uppitty and aristocratic to Harry's general...normalness, but most importantly, he's a Slytherin to his Gryffindor. He's awesome!"

George said to Ron, "No he's not!" Turning to Harry, he stated matter-of-factly, "Your boyfriend sucks." The twinkle in eyes and the smile on his face, though, contradicted his statement.

Ginny just slapped his arm and shook her head while Harry screamed in the background, "He's _not _my boyfriend!"

Hermione's intelligent brown eyes widened to the size of two Snitches. They even sparkled like the little golden balls.

Ron however, looked like he didn't want to know more. "Umm, mate, how about I skip the awful guessing this time and just say that I'm happy for you? You can tell me the name yourself when you're ready, you know, in private. So that I can have a fit and shriek like a girl when you finally do." His girlfriend and sister slapped him on each arm.

"I'm glad you're cool about this, Ron," Harry smiled, "I honestly didn't expect you to be so accepting."

"Yeah, well, trust me mate, I'm freaking out on the inside!"

They all laughed.

_Wait a minute._

"George," Ginny cooed sweetly, "How did you know about Harry's crush on him?"

"Ginny, please. I've hung out with Harry so much for the past few months - I've seen every expression on his face. You can't miss the way he ignores the hot girls standing in front of his face - because he's so busy looking at the hot guys five feet away! Plus, I have an awesome gaydar!"

Ginny's fury was more than evident. "So you knew - you knew that Harry was _gay_, and how I felt about everyone thinking that I'm _dating _someone who is essentially my _brother_, and you just encouraged them _more_! _You bloody wanker!_"

"It was hard not to, Gin. You should have seen the disgust on your faces. Man, those expressions were _epic_!" George crowed unapologetically.

"Calm down, Gin," placated Harry, "at least it's over."

Hermione finally spoke up. "Come on, guys, we should go back. They must be waiting for us."

So saying, she led the way back to the rest of the Weasleys. The others had no choice but to follow.

"I'm still mad at Mum though," fumed Ginny. "Married! And _kids_! Honestly, aren't parents supposed to be protecting their daughter's virtue or some such shit?"

"Uh, Gin, enough already!" said Ron dramatically. "You're always complaining."

"Well of course I am! I have a right to be angry. I never even said that I wanted a boyfriend in the first place! Where did she get _that_ idea from?"

George commented thoughtfully, "Now that the war is past us, everyone seems to be pairing up, Gin. Maybe she thought that you were feeling left out?"

This didn't help Ginny's mood however. With a sarcastic eyebrow raise, she questioned sardonically, "Do I look lonely?"

George gulped.

She continued, "Besides, why Harry? What made her think that _we're_ so perfect together?"

"Well, she does love Harry a lot. And children. And grandchildren. I guess she just got too excited, maybe?" suggested Hermione doubtfully.

"Are you asking or telling us that?"

"I don't know, Ginny! I have no clue how Mrs. Weasley's mind works!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I'm just really pissed off. I mean, the war's only been over for two and a half months! Even if we were actually dating, how can she believe us to be serious enough to consider marriage? It's not even logical!"

"Actually, sis, Mum might not realize that. Did you know that Mum and Dad got married after dating for only three months? Apparently, they felt since they knew each other for seven years at Hogwarts, they didn't see any reason to wait. And their marriage turned out great! Mostly." George reasoned.

"Really? Huh, I didn't know that. But, if the number of siblings I have says anything about their marriage, I think they did pretty good." Ron joked.

"Ron, don't be gross! But seriously, I didn't know that either. How did you find out?"

"I overheard it being said during one of Mum's knitting club sessions. Who knew those old crones could be so chatty?"

They all laughed.

When they reached the table, Molly was the first to get up and rush over to Harry.

"Oh, Harry dear, I am so sorry! I didn't even know! You poor boy, did I make you feel uncomfortable? I promise to never bring up you and Ginny again! Just know, dear, that we will support you no matter what happens. You know that you aren't the only one in the family, don't you? There's George, and Charlie, and Uncle Elphard from my side and…" All this was rattled off while Harry was enveloped in a crushing hug.

"Can't - breathe," he choked.

"Oh, sorry, dear. Now come along all of you, before the food gets even colder!"

"Where's my apology?" muttered Ginny moodily.

"Shut up Gin."

A few minutes after they resumed eating, Molly spoke up.

"Harry, you know, you and George make a lovely couple."

_Wait- what? What even?_

"Have you two ever considered trying a relationship? You both would work well together. And don't think we've not noticed how much time you spend with each other! It's adorable!"

Poor Harry! He just can't catch a break, can he?

George and Harry looked at each other, identical looks of panic in their eyes.

Ron couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the afternoon.

Serves George right though, the bastard.


End file.
